October 10, 2010

Just a Thought

"If you have a sincere and open heart, you naturally feel self-worth and confidence, and there is no need to be fearful of others."
Dalai Lama

I know I felt this once and somewhere deep down inside I still feel it. I remember when I was so confident in who I was that I was able to love freely and genuinely without fear. My recent past has eaten away at me and blistered my feelings of self-worth. I still love with an open heart and its why I keep opening myself up to certain people even though I know their inability to reciprocate those emotions with the same amount of effort only ends up cutting me deeply. 

I do believe self-worth is  deeply intertwined with someone's ability to be sincere and have an open heart without fear. Self-worth and confidence is what gives you the strength to allow yourself to be vulnerable to someone who may use that power over you. Yet, at the end of the day, your self-worth is also what serves as a guide to knowing when something is harmful to you and it is what gives you the strength to pull out of situations like that. It is when you lose your sense of self worth that you begin to feel fear and sometimes that fear can paralyze you. 

I do not feel it is wrong to love someone who may have hurt you. I believe the ability to continue to love that person is a reflection of your character and your strength. That doesn't mean you continue to put yourself in a situation that destroys you. It is sincerity with yourself and others that allows you to move away from people who harm you with only love as an answer and not hatred. It is self worth that enables you to leave those situations with a positive heart. 

At the end of the day if you've given yourself to someone with sincerity and an open heart you can walk away knowing you were one of the greatest things to have entered that person's life. If that person didn't measure up to you in the same way, with sincerity and an open heart, then it is their loss. That's a powerful thing to acknowledge. It allows you to accept the situation with a peaceful heart.

I just want to make it clear, that real self worth is based on you being sincere and open to the reality about yourself. If you are able to take a step back and look at yourself with all your faults and issues without feeling like it's affecting your confidence, it can only serve to make you a better person by allowing you to accept yourself as you are and work on the things you can. Many people base their self worth on their own misconceptions about themselves and the moment they realize something doesn't jive with their self concept it shakes them into being defensive, angry, or belligerent. That mentality will only hurt them and hurt those who truly love them. 

That quote seems so simple but there are so many facets to it that I could go on but I'll leave it with each reader to ponder what those words really mean to them. 

Hugs and kisses,

1 comment:

  1. Hey Erica,
    checking out your blog after you posted the link on your facebook. You're very talented and seemed to have gotten more beautiful since the last time I saw you. Congratulations on whatever you have done because you have very good Karma, lol. This particular entry of yours touched me, especially this line:

    "their inability to reciprocate those emotions with the same amount of effort only ends up cutting me deeply."

    So I thought I would share my memory of you. From the moment I saw you, I thought you were someone I would like to get to "know", a feisty brown girl who possessed a flair for life. So with my awkward advances I think I kind of succeeded in being your friend. You seemed perfect and deep inside I knew you were playing in a different league. So my infatuation grew into disappointment and coupled with the fact that you seemed to have "feelings" for a close friend it turned into bitter disappointment. But never hatred towards you. The only hatred I had was towards my approach and actions, never towards you. Anyways what I am trying to get across here is that, after all these years you may have hundred people come in and out of your life who may have had similar experiences with you like I had. It may seem they can't reciprocate their feelings towards you or they may detest you, which may hurt you. But DON'T and as smart as you are I know you won't let it hurt you. You're a smart, beautiful young lady and some people can't comprehend what you have. From what I remember, you might as well been from Mars because you are one in a billion, in a good way. Don't let anybody devalue your self worth because it's priceless.
    Continued Success Erica (Down to Mars Girl)!


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